Networking is a interesting subject, because I believe it's essential for a human to build status and reputation in society. This is mainly because of my views on the way people's value gets determined. This article is written from a male's perspective.

Humans get the value in society from a lot of sources including, money, friends, physical shape and religion, just to name a few. The idea I want to discuss in this article takes a holistic approach to these sources and is about the view you want other people to have of you, specifically if you're networking with a partner. With partner I'm not necessarily referring to romantic partner.

The benefits of having a partner whilst networking is quite significant. They act as a fallback, someone that you can talk to if your social interactions don't go as planned and they act as 'n way to either decrease your value or increase your value depending on how you and the partner is perceived. 

If people view your partner as significantly more value than yourself it can go two ways. Your relationship with each other can be devalued and questioned or they can view it as a honorable relationship where the one if offering value. Both of these options are bad, because it amplifies the difference in value, which in return increases the perception of the undervalue of the lower value member. The ideal spot is then where both are perceived as equal high value.

Down to the basics of value estimation, we know that the amount of people a person knows, or their following (particularly, but not exclusively, in-person) increases their value. This doesn't mean if you are disliked by a lot of people that you will have more value. The opposite is also true, having a lot of people which likes you a lot is also not beneficial, because it indicates to the public that you are in very high demand and does not have a close group of friends.

Upon trying to logically reason out a balance between those two points, I found that the most beneficial position to be in is to know a lot of people and not be close friends nor disliked by them. This enables you to increase your value on will and gives control over the value estimation determined by other people for this value property. An example of this is, when you go out to a club or event, if you are able to, in the chances you are not speaking to the person you are with, you can introduce them and/or go off with the person and speak to the people you know. This helps with making the other person comfortable with your presence.

Back to networking, the ideal can then be determined as going to an event and socializing with people, making sure it's a positive interaction by any means necessary and leaving the interaction when your perception is high enough and the connection with the other person is about to form. This means not speaking about anything personal up to that point. You need to find a topic they are interested in and the expand on that, making them feel that you're interested in what they are saying whilst making genuine notes about them and linking it to their passion subject mentally. 

During these relatively short interactions, it is important to make mental notes of the subject the other person is speaking about. You need to identify their passion and find a way for them to want to tell you about it or an area surrounding it. This way it guarantees interest from the other person because you have taken the subject choice out of your hands. Personally, when I listen to someone speak about a passion and I can't relate with it at all, I'd take a note and listen to the keywords they talk about. These keywords are the type of words you can introduce that person with in context with their passion. 

An example of this can be: (will discuss interaction context another time)
There is a guy I'm talking to and I've identified the initial interaction contexts as follows: 
Guy, Single, Responsible, Religious, Basic Intellect, Chill, Good style

With this setup, the search for passion can start at his routine and friend relations. After asking him who he is here with and pointing out a group of average guys, you can determine. Usually, at this point I've identified that the target is probably not isn't a priority, but I am going to assume for the sake of this example this person is. I'd tell I quick story of the last time I experienced the current event, being a club or formal event, catering it to their preferred time interval and perception of the event in question.

You are now on even ground and the stage is set for the passion identification. Leading questions are key here, assume and verify until you find the spot where they start talking more. Then you have the passion. Let them speak about it for longer than most people allow them to speak. This is important as it can fake interest in the subject. When they are done, link it to an event you did and make them perceive you as you being little bit less valuable in that area than they are and ask for assistance. Then leave the interaction and continue by letting him know you would love to continue this conversation another time.

The last factor I want to discuss in this post is the difference between having a female partner and a male partner. This differs from formal and informal interactions, which breaks this difference up into 4 categories:

1. In a formal setting with a female, the ideal perception is for the duo is that they are together in a romantic relationship. Stability and comfortability with each other is key. Speaking to a group of girls as the guy in this situation is not beneficial for the perception and the same counts for the girl. The two of you need to have separate conversations, but be seen as an entity.

2. In an informal setting with a female, the ideal perception is that you are there together, but not necessarily in a romantic relationship. If you choose the romantic card, you need to stick together throughout the event. If not romantic, you need to be extremely good friends that own the same slice of the world, referring to academic, sport, social or interests. 

3. In a formal setting with a male, the ideal is that you are there together as very good long term friends. The two people need to act as a power duo in which they both are on the same page of life and the work as two highly efficient, partially intertwined pieces. The need to have separate conversations and then introduce individual people with each other. 

4. In an informal setting with a male, the ideal is that you are two people that have each other's backs but don't need to be together to have fun and be social. The two people need to split up and introduce the other person and/or the other person's group. This is very effective among clubbing and house parties.

That sums up the content of the article. 
As a sidenote regarding all the places where you might be perceived as fake, unless you are very well trained and experienced in that specific situation's discussion, being genuine is always the better play. People can sense when the other person is being recklessly untruthful, so rather play the curiosity because of ignorance card or find someone else in their group that might have more experience in your arena. 

The Blog

Networking with a duo partner